Step 5: Who I am Hates Who I've Been

Day 161: There is nothing that I can do to take back the things that I have done, but I can be forgiven.   For some reason I struggle with this. I can forgive others, but how do I truly forgive myself?  I'm trying to let go of the worries, and let God make the best of the mess I created,  but the devil is right there.   He is constantly reminding me of my mistakes, my failures.   He wants me to believe that I'm doomed to fail; he doesn't want me to get back up.  When I listen to his lies, it takes my heart back to "the saddest state it's ever been" and that's "no place to try and live my life

With confession & true repentance comes freedom.  I no longer have to carry around this ball & chain of guilt. For when I'm tempted, he will provide a way out.   Though  his escape route may not look like the one I would have created, his grace and mercy are transforming me, and He is using this for good.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.(Romans 8:28)  The Bible doesn't say some things; it says ALL things.

I'm sorry for the person I became.

I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.

I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again

'cause who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been.

• Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. “Happy are the pure in heart.”(Matthew 5:8) 
• Step 5:  We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."(Jams 5:16)

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been (Relient K)

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.