My Prayer Today: I
know that you are able to change me from the inside out. Thank you for being patient with me as I
attempt to surrender all areas that you are revealing to me.
“Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated
to his service and pleasing to him… Let God transform you inwardly by a
complete change of your mind.” (Romans 12:1-2, GNB)
To celebrate my 6 month sobriety birthday, I read my inventory to my sponsor. In a sense it was freeing, but I also discovered I have lots more to work on. My addictions & eating disorder are no longer present, but the deeper issues that led to those problems, are still very active. I'm so thankful that God has helped me overcome my addictions. I don't deserve the grace that he has freely given.
There are still more areas that I need to surrender, to truly let go. I need to stop fearing the future and start having faith in God, knowing that all things work together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I need to quit setting unrealistic expectations for myself & others and learn to accept mistakes as a pathway to learning. I need to let go of my pride & perfectionism.
I realize that I will never be cured of my
imperfections. It will take time. Early in recovery I relied on the strength of
others. Then I called accountability partners,
for help through stressful times. Stress
is my trigger, and for the first 5 months of this journey, the urge to drink would try to creep
in. Now my conversations with my
sponsor & accountability partners are not focused as much on alcohol, but on
the underlying character defects that preceded my abuse of alcohol. I realize how inadequate I am. I must learn to die to myself and let God
take control and help me overcome all of my flaws.
- Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires”(Matthew 5:6)
- Step 7: I Humbly asked God to remove my shortcomings. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive use our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
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