At times I get so caught up in all that I have to do that my "to do list" becomes my guide. I resort to an "auto pilot" state, one where I wasted many years, just coasting through life. Another pattern that I'm seeing is a life of codependency. I've spent too many hours thinking how can I make someone else's life better. In a sense I want to fix everyone, but in reality, the only person that I can change is myself.
This morning's devotional reading really hit home. It was about Moses, a man that I consider to be a great leader. I really relate to his "excuses" about not wanting to lead, especially the part about being a poor public speaker. But in mind, I always picture him a great leader, often over looking how he developed into a leader.
What I realized this morning was that even Moses had a "sponsor" that challenged him to grow and encouraged him along the journey.
Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. 19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. 20 Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. 23 If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.” (Exodus 18:17-20)
What great advice. If it worked for Moses, I bet it will work for me too. So often I want to take on everything and everyone's problems, but I'm learning that setting boundaries is essential in leadership. The past few weeks, I began to question a boundary that my co-leader and I set about not sponsoring anyone in the CR step study we are leading. Amazingly, all 16 ladies have found a sponsor and they didn't need us to fulfill that role.
I have found that if I want to make an impact, it's more important that I stay connected to God in prayer and meditation, than service. Yes, service is important, but when I allow my service for God, to come before my devotion to Him, I grow weary, empty, and depressed. Even Jesus took time to recharge by spending time alone and praying. For so long I thought I was selfish for wanting my time, but I now realize that I'm happier, healithier, and even a better mommy when I take this time. It gives me rest and better insight on how to handle llife and all the issues that come with it.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
You Are My Strength
Yesterday I started to get overwhelmed with all that I was doing. There were so many situations and people that needed prayer or a listening ear. Then I started getting stressed at how far we are having to back track as we return to our homeschooling venture.
The thing is, I was trying to do in my own strength. Once again I was trying to control or fix things. I must stop trying to play God and not allow my life to become unmanageable again. I have learned that the harder I try, the more I struggle. I cannot do this on my own. I realize that I have limitations and imperfections. I must continually set aside my pride and daily surrender to God and seek His leading. I’ve tried to do life in my own strength and I really made a mess of things.
The thing is, I was trying to do in my own strength. Once again I was trying to control or fix things. I must stop trying to play God and not allow my life to become unmanageable again. I have learned that the harder I try, the more I struggle. I cannot do this on my own. I realize that I have limitations and imperfections. I must continually set aside my pride and daily surrender to God and seek His leading. I’ve tried to do life in my own strength and I really made a mess of things.
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