I’m beginning to realize that most of my expectations have
been unrealistic.
Before coming to
Celebrate recovery, I was overcommitted and thought that I could accomplish
everything on my own.
I believed that I
was strong enough to handle it all.
I
didn’t reach out to others, for I had to maintain my perfect image.
I just pushed on to accomplish more.
When I failed to meet my unrealistic
expectations, I grew depressed & tired.
I tried to control my children, my husband, and my environment.
If they would just do it my way, things would
work out.
This left me exhausted.
As a spoiled only child, I’ve always expected those around
me (my husband and dad) to cater to my desires.
As the economy fell, I pushed my husband to try harder to find a way to
provide for our family in the manor we had grown accustomed to. In the end I felt disappointed and
unfulfilled, more unrealistic expectations.
I also expected my friends and family to be there, even though I failed
to reach out and be transparent with them. All of these unrealistic
expectations have left me feeling hurt, empty, with a low self-esteem.
Even now, I still struggle with expecting my children to
conform to a certain image. I try to
control their attitude sand behaviors. I
need help in find that balance between being a parent and letting them be children. I need to step back and quit trying to
control everything about my life. I need
to trust that my heavenly daddy can do a much better job that I’m capable of attempting
on my own. I need to learn how to commit
all of my life and will to His care & control.
I’m ready to quit trying to control everyone &
everything. I want to trust God &
follow His lead. I’m also ready to see
myself in His eyes. I’m so tired of
replaying the negative thoughts & worrying about how others will perceive
me. I recently heard a quote of Ethel
Barrett that kind of hit home, “We would worry less about what others think of
us if we realized how seldom they do.”
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