Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Just where I am
I gave my testimony tonight. Though I wasn’t as anxious as I have been in the past, it was very difficult to get through. First there were technical difficulties with microphones. UGHUG. Somehow I didn’t let that get to me and pushed through. But I broke down sharing about my sponsor and all that she did for me. I miss her so much. Her loss is still so heavy on my heart. I’m past the bitterness and anger, but I miss her and our special times together. I’m realizing that I need to fill the missing link in my support team, but I’m not sure that I’m ready. I think I’m intentionally procrastinating because I’m not wanting to let go or open a new chapter. Maybe I’m afraid of losing another sponsor. My first one left the ministry, and now this. I feel so weak. I wish that I was stronger, but then again, maybe my weakness is what keeps me humble and dependent on God. I realize that I cannot do this on my own. I must rely on His strength.
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