Unfortunately, I never grew out of that mindset. I approached drinking the same way. I lied, tried to hide it, and did everything possible to avoid consequences. My first instinct was to hide the alcohol and keep on pretending that I didn’t have a problem. When the truth came out I was terrified. The storm that erupted set me in a panic. After all, storms can be scary, dangerous, and even destructive.
Just like Jonah I had been running in the wrong direction. God sent the storm to get Jonah’s attention. He sent the storm to get my attention. And boy did he get my attention. I love that “God never allows His children to sin successfully” (Charles Spurgeon).
I never saw the storm as it approached. I missed all the warning signs, and was completely caught off guard. I had no shelter, no support team. The damage was vast and the consequences were so much greater than I could have imagined. I was completely broken and battered. I was convinced that I had fallen too far for grace and that God no longer loved me. Sometimes it’s difficult to see clearly during the storm. I didn’t realize that Jesus was still there. I soon realized that God was not only holding my hand, but that He was more powerful than the storm that surrounded me.
On my own I made so many mistakes, so many poor decisions. God is using this storm to teach me to depend on Him, and to remind me that I cannot do this on my own. Without Him, I’m doomed to fail. But the lessons of this storm serve another purpose. My life has been given new meaning, to share my story with others. This is my chance to share my story & some lessons I learned the hard way. My hope is that others don’t have to experience tragedy like mine, in order to step out of their denial. I hate that it took something this big to wake me up, but I’m so grateful for the wake-up call.
Last night I invited another friend into the messiness of my life. It’s the first time I’ve shared it all without breaking down. Not sure what that means, but I feel its progress. In the past I was afraid to open up, to be honest about my faults and mistakes. I had to maintain my perfect image. Today, I’m learning to be real. I’m amazed at the unconditional love and acceptance I’ve received.
There are countless blessings that have come from this storm, but the thing I’m most thankful for is the relationships that have formed. I’m so much more intentional about making friends, not just acquaintances. Today, I have friends that I can count on during those storms that come my way. I’m able to share my faults and be transparent with my struggles. I’m so grateful for my sheltering trees, my friends that will get “get down on their knees and life [me] up before the king of kings.”
Sheltering Trees (Newsong)
It's been said a friend is like a mighty sheltering tree
A place of refuge we can run when trouble comes for you and me
Someone we can count on through the thick and thin
When the storms of life are blowing, there's
Just nothing like a friend
(there's just nothing like a friend)
Chorus:
We all need sheltering trees
Friends in our lives who'll get down on their knees
And lift us up before the king of kings
We all need sheltering trees
There've been days that I was sure that I couldn't make it through
Clouds of doubt came rolling in and I didn't know what I would do
I would've given in and said I just can't go on
If it hadn't been for a friend that helped me to be strong
(helped me to be strong)
Chorus
Bridge:
You can face the highest mountain and
The climb won't feel so high
Or cross the darkest valley and it won't seem so wide
Nothing is impossible when a friend is by your side
Chorus(2x)
A place of refuge we can run when trouble comes for you and me
Someone we can count on through the thick and thin
When the storms of life are blowing, there's
Just nothing like a friend
(there's just nothing like a friend)
Chorus:
We all need sheltering trees
Friends in our lives who'll get down on their knees
And lift us up before the king of kings
We all need sheltering trees
There've been days that I was sure that I couldn't make it through
Clouds of doubt came rolling in and I didn't know what I would do
I would've given in and said I just can't go on
If it hadn't been for a friend that helped me to be strong
(helped me to be strong)
Chorus
Bridge:
You can face the highest mountain and
The climb won't feel so high
Or cross the darkest valley and it won't seem so wide
Nothing is impossible when a friend is by your side
Chorus(2x)
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