I don’t know where to begin. I feel weak & distracted. With all the business of birthdays and preparing to give my testimony, somehow my quiet times have been put on the back burner again. How have I fallen back to this pattern again? It angers me. Am I starting to allow my duties to come before my devotion??? My thoughts are best illustrated in the message translation of Romans 7:16-25.
14-16 Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.
17-20 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?
25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve
I’m baffled at my behaviors. My spirit is willing but [my] flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38). This has been a reminder of my powerlessness and my need to live one day at a time. I’ve come a long way, but I need to keep moving in the right direction. I realize its time to dig a little deeper and start dealing with some of my root issues. This process takes time. I love how Mark Twain puts it, "A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time."
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