"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand."(Phil 4:6-7)/span>
If I truly grasped this, if I truly believed this, I guess I would apply this to all of my fears, even the fear of public speaking. If I had truly surrendered this to God, I wouldn’t be consumed with fear. I’m beginning to realize that this is yet another area that I gave to God, but quickly snatched back and tried to fix myself.
Let me tell you, this is REALLY difficult for me. I have avoided speaking engagemnts at all costs. Just standing in front of a room raises my adreneline as if I were in a life threatening situation.
As I was battling with this fear, my sponsor asked me if I was ready to take the next step,
“Are you ready to try teaching a lesson?"
Seriously. What was she thinking? But of course, she knows me too well. Before I could respond with “ NO THANKYOU,” she tells me to pray about it and let her know what God says.
I contact my best friend for support. She will understand where I’m coming from, or so I thought. Dear friend says, “You are an amazing product of God’s work in you life. I think He’s grooming you for public speaking. You really speak wisdom. This is part of your healing and growth.”
Gulp. That’s the second time this weekend that I’ve been speechless. Can’t I just stay in denial a little bit longer. I don’t want to let go in this area.
Then another sweet sister’s advice: “Try to Declare that you will be calm! Try not to think nervous... delete that word. ‘So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’” (Hebrews 13:6).
My friends won’t even give me a break. I know [much sarcasm implied] Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. But can’t I avoid this one just a little bit longer?
I’m reminded that Moses had a fear of public speaking. He also tried to avoid it.
Even when he struggled in fear, God still used him. God can still use me. I just have to let Him.
My prayer (which yet another CR sister prayed for me)
Dear God,
Help [me] share [my] story so that [I] have no fear and so that [I] will not so much as trip over a word. Let the power of your Holy Spirit make [my] words sound pure and true to all that hear it. Give [me] peace and comfort and allow [me] to be bold in testament to your holiness and mercy.
Love, Me
You can run to your friends, but we won't let you hide! Your story- God's story- is just too amazing not to share :)
ReplyDeleteThrough the Cross to the Light-
Rochelle