God Grant me the Serenity
I’m admitting that I am powerless and cannot accomplish this on my own. I’ve failed miserably in my attempts to do life in my own power. I turned to alcohol for a temporary respite, to ease the pain, the stress. Though it briefly masked my despair, peace was still lacking. I’ve tried to find peace in things, relationships,& my role as a wife or mother. None of these can fill the void that only He can fill. Only with God’s help am I able to leave behind the baggage of fear, guilt, worry, or the all-consuming what if’s that flood my mind. So today I’m asking God for His peace, which transcends all understanding and will guard my heart and mind in Him(Philippians 4:7).
To accept the things I cannot change
I’m asking God for peace & safety in the middle of the storm. I cannot stop the rain. I must wait for storm pass to see the beauty. But today I can find peace, knowing the rainbow will appear as the darkness fades.
I’m asking God to help me accept the people around me. I cannot control their actions, their motives, or their thoughts as they judge me. Only God has the power to change them or soften their hearts.
The thing that I discovered about me and the resentments that I’ve held was shocking. The roots of my resentments stemmed from other people’s acts of selfishness, anger, dishonesty, fear, or low self-worth. Though my actions may manifest differently, I too am guilty of these same character defects.
This leads to the next part of the prayer...
The courage to change the things I can
I’m asking God for peace & safety in the middle of the storm. I cannot stop the rain. I must wait for storm pass to see the beauty. But today I can find peace, knowing the rainbow will appear as the darkness fades.
I’m asking God to help me accept the people around me. I cannot control their actions, their motives, or their thoughts as they judge me. Only God has the power to change them or soften their hearts.
The thing that I discovered about me and the resentments that I’ve held was shocking. The roots of my resentments stemmed from other people’s acts of selfishness, anger, dishonesty, fear, or low self-worth. Though my actions may manifest differently, I too am guilty of these same character defects.
This leads to the next part of the prayer...
The courage to change the things I can
I’m reminded of a humorous version of the prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, Courage to change the one I can, and wisdom to know it’s me.
I can only change me. I can lay down my self-centeredness as I share my life with others. I can leave behind my negative thoughts and judgmental attitudes, as I freely give grace to myself and those around me.
“When you change your attitude -
You change your mind and the way you think about others.
When you change your acceptance –
You change your heart and the way you feel about others.
When you change your actions –
You change the way you relate to others.”
(CR Advanced Leadership Guide)
The thing is my mind tricks me, it deceives, and at times I get confused on how to tell the difference. In the past I failed to take responsibility for my actions as I justified my state of denial. I tried to blame others for not helping me or reaching out, but in reality it was my pride that didn’t allow me to reach out to others.
I love the African proverb that says, “Only a fool test the depth of the water by jumping in with both feet!” I’m not supposed to jump in and figure this out. Remember this is a prayer; I’m seeking God’s Wisdom here.
“If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give you a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him. He will not resent it” ( James 1:5 LB)
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time
I need to live for today and leave the past in the past. There are no re-do’s in life. I cannot undo the mistakes I made. I cannot go back and erase the pain that I caused my family. I have repented of my wrongs, surrendered these feelings to God, and have truly accepted his healing. I have forgiven myself. So I can no longer allow my mind to damage my serenity by replaying the past.
It’s worrying about the future that slows me down and causes me to not fully embrace today. I realize that most of my worries and fears will never happen. And even if they do, my consuming thoughts will not change the outcome.
When I quit wasting energy focusing on the past or future, there is lot more time to live for today, to live in this moment.
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace
I believe that God allows us to experience trials (he doesn’t cause them) so that we come to know Him better. He allows us to make choices as we attempt to rely on our own strength. In the process He gains our attention and we realize that we must rely on Him. The end result is us surrendering to Him and developing a closer relationship with our Savior.
I rest assured that even if the fierce winds come and the lightning strikes, “God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”(Romans 8:28). After the storm, the ground is wet & the soil is most fertile. It’s during this these times that our hearts our most receptive to the seeds God is planting.
Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it
God hates sin, but he loves the sinner. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus sees the value in ALL of His creation, and so should we. No one has fallen too far from His grace. I shouldn’t be judgmental or avoid people that are still living on the broken road. They are still a creation of God, and I need to try to see them as God sees them, how an artist views his beautiful creation.
Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will
Isaiah 30:21 says, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Even when I wandered on the dark broken road, God was so faithful, and made the way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:1). The truth is, I need Him to guide me, to direct my steps. I have tried to do things my way and that didn’t work out too well.
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next
I can be reasonably happy when I truly grasp, “Happiness is not having what you want- but wanting what you have.” But complete happiness if found in the joy & hope of eternity and everlasting life. This world is only a temporary dwelling place.
“And this small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble. 18 For we fix our attention, not on things that are seen, but on things that are unseen. What can be seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18 GNT).
When I take control and let my mind wander, life becomes and emotional roller coaster. I need to allow this prayer to take root and produce fruit in my life. It’s only when I surrender and allow Jesus to take the wheel that I can truly have serenity on this journey.
I also say the prayer from memory and don't stop to let the words sink into my soul. I did in the beginning of my recovery; I heard every word as I read it. My own serenity checkup reveals that I have a long way to go. Subconsciously I have been waiting to "arrive" at serenity; for the journey to being serene completed. This morning I realize that true serenity will always be just beyond my grasp, and that 's ok! My understanding of God's love for me is growing so much as I attempt to master serenity :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty. I learn so much from your barefaced sharing. Thank you!!
Love,
Rochelle