There are things in my past that I’m not proud of, but I’ve
learned many valuable lessons. Typically, I keep moving forward. But this season isn’t passing by as quickly
as I would like, so I still have a few “what-if’s” that like to distract
me. If only we hadn’t been so foolish and selfish
with our money. If only I hadn’t started
drinking. If only I would have reached
out for help. If only I hadn’t isolated
myself.
At times I still daydream about the life I once had – the life I took for granted – the life I tried to manage on my own. Unfortunately I cannot go back. I missed those opportunities, but I’m thankful that I didn’t miss this one. Through my Celebrate Recovery step study I’m gaining a deeper relationship with Jesus.
I have laid most of my worries down and am learning to live
one day at a time. At times I still
worry about the storm that surrounds me, but I know that whatever direction it
takes, God is in control. When I get apprehensive,
I’m reminded that even this will be used for good. So I guess my only real fear is being
separated from my family, and the impact that would have on my daughters. Worry is a form of not trusting him, so this
is yet another area that I must hand over. “So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time” (Matthew 6:34, TLB). At times I still daydream about the life I once had – the life I took for granted – the life I tried to manage on my own. Unfortunately I cannot go back. I missed those opportunities, but I’m thankful that I didn’t miss this one. Through my Celebrate Recovery step study I’m gaining a deeper relationship with Jesus.
My prayer: “Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom”(Psalm 6:2-3, TLB). I cannot do this on my own. I’ve tried for so long, yet I keep failing. I desired to do what is right. I desire to be closer to you. But I still struggle, I still get distracted. Please save me from the mess I’ve made.
- Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong things and that my life is unmanageable. "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." ( Matthew 5:3)
- Step 1: I admit that I am powerless over my addiction and compulsive behavior, that my life had become unmanageable. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to what is good. but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18
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