My Celebrate Recovery Step Study was a life changing
event. I’ve experienced freedom from
hurts and habits that were controlling my life.
I’ve learned to let go of things, things that I have held onto and
couldn’t let go. I’ve forgiven others
and let go of resentments. I’ve made
true friends that love me, in spite of my flaws, and have gained accountability
partners. But most importantly I’m learning
to trust God with everything.
This has been the most amazing time as I have developed a
deeper relationship with Jesus. I’m so
excited to see what God has in store as I’m learning to live beyond the broken
road.
Here is the letter I wrote to God at the beginning of my
step study. I'm amazed that God gave me so much more than I could have imagined.
Dear God,
Change my heart! Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you; I want to hear you. It’s been way too long. I feel so empty & so distant. How can I
be the wife and mommy that I need to be, if I’m not being the daughter that you
created me to be? For so long I have bee
trying to do things on my own. I haven’t
been trusting in you. Though I have been surrounded by people, I guess my pride
has kept me from turning to them & asking for help. I had to keep my image as “Super Mom.’ My Friends were always impressed and said that
they couldn’t do all I was doing and keep up with all I had on my plate. Turns out… I couldn’t do it either.
How I wish I hadn’t tried to do it on my own, how I wish I hadn’t set my
expectations so high, and how I wish I hadn’t turned to alcohol to hide my
pain!
I long to hear you
voice again and have that connection with you.
I know your Word and what you expect of me, but I’m so spiritually weak,
that I don’t have the strength to do it.
I can’t do this with my strength.
I need yours. I have hit rock
bottom. I feel that I have fallen too
far from Grace by continuing in the sin, even though I knew it was wrong. I know that I don’t deserve another chance,
but I’m asking and ready to truly surrender all to you. Here is my prayer:
Psalm 40:12-17
For troubles without
number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more
than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased, O LORD, to
save me; O LORD, come quickly to help me. May all who seek to take my life be
put to shame and confusion; May all who desire my ruin be turned back in
disgrace. May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!” be appalled at their own shame. But
may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your
salvation always say, “The LORD be exalted!” Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my
help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
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