I'm so much more laid back and accepting the fact that I will never be perfect. But when I have rough days like yesterday I get very agitated with myself. I feel like I shouldn't have those struggles. Ugh. I need to give myself more grace. Joyce Meyer paraphrased it like this “God doesn’t have a bad attitude toward you—and you shouldn’t have one toward yourself! (1 John 4:9-11)”
Why is it easier for me to give grace to those around me than myself? Though this is an area that I need to grow in I’m not going let this bog me down. I can almost hear my sponsor saying, “You’re looking at this from the wrong perspective. Choose to find the good.” Rather, than focus on the negative I’m should thank God for helping me grow in this area – I’ve actually learned to give grace to those around me.
What an important trait to model for my children – freely giving God’s grace to them and others. I spent many, many weeks researching curriculum choices. I had to choose the best. I remember stressing myself out. Somehow my quiet times were more focused on finding the right Bible curriculum than spending time in the Word. Then a wise friend reminded that parents are a child’s first curriculum on God. One again I was focusing my attention in the wrong direction. My words and actions will echo in their hearts louder than any lesson I teach.
This evening was probably one of my favorite nights at CR. I’m not sure what it was but the joy and fellowship with friends was so real. There was so much laughter among us. I’ve seen so many ladies walk through that door just as broken and terrified as I was, but their lives have been transformed and they are enjoying life today. I love how God is in the restoration business and that he cares so much about each of us.
I’ve spent my most of my life so worried about maintaining the “perfect” image, but I’m free to enjoy life right where I am. As I lead the group in the 8 principles, I realized that I had no clue who I was introducing or what was happening next. A few months ago that would have terrified me. Tonight I just smiled and returned to me seat. Of course I laughed as I told my friends I had no clue what was happening next. In the big picture, it really didn’t matter.
I guess I’m finding it easier to give myself grace, it’s a learning process. At times I still feel that I don’t deserve it. But that’s the thing about grace – it’s undeserved
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